Edging is an orgasm control technique. Used to increase stamina, intensify orgasms and explore power exchanges in the bedroom, it involves a little thing called delayed gratification. In other words, you get to the point of near-climax, before temporarily stopping stimulation or easing up the intensity and leaving your would-be orgasm on ice for a bit to chill. Edging has also been referred to as surfing, peaking or teasing. 

For those of you thinking: why on earth would you volunteer to social distance from your own orgasm? Good question. The idea is that by building up to your big pulsating moment, easing off then coming back to it when you’re really ready to blow, you’re going to unlock even more pleasure potential. Like discovering an advent calendar door you somehow missed before. Though it’s most practiced by people with penises, vulva-owners are more than welcome to get in on the action too. Phew!

The Big O

To master your orgasms, you should understand the different stages of arousal. Don’t underestimate the importance of foreplay to reach the Big O. Indulge yourself in the initial stages of excitement before you’re ready to orgasm. 

1. Excitement. It all starts with a little bit of excitement – you know the feeling. Your skin starts to flush, your muscles get tense, your heartbeat gets faster, blood starts to flow…

    

2. Plateau. The feeling of excitement intensifies, and you feel yourself drawing closer and closer to orgasm… This is the stage where you should get ready to stop or slow down stimulation to achieve greater control of your orgasm.

    

3. Orgasm. A series of nerve and muscle responses occur, resulting in a feeling of ecstasy. When you practise edging, this is the stage you’re trying to avoid – until ready.

    

4. Resolution. After orgasm, tissues return to their non-aroused sizes and colors, and all your vitals normalize, too. This is also when the refractory period starts. It’s a temporary stretch of time where you can’t get aroused again. 

How to practise edging? 

You can practise edging with a partner or during solo play. There are a few techniques you can use to achieve build-up before orgasm. Schedule in some self-pleasure and discover what formula makes you tick.

The Start-Stop method

Let’s start with the basics. This does exactly what it says on the tin. You simply stop stimulation when you feel close to orgasm, and start up again after a few seconds of downtime. During downtime take deep breaths, or open your eyes if you need. 

After the short ‘break’, repeat until you feel ready to orgasm. You might notice your orgasm lasts longer or feels more intense. 

Notice if edging made a difference in the pleasure you feel. Pay close attention to that feeling. Has it made any difference to how much pleasure you feel? Is it better? Is it more intense? Does it last for longer? 

The Squeeze Method 

The Squeeze Method is a technique for those with penises. Build up stimulation to the point of near-orgasm then stop, and squeeze the head of the penis to stop the orgasm for 30 seconds. Repeat until ready to orgasm.

Ballooning

Another one for the penis-bearers of the group. Happy freaking birthday. This method is called ballooning because, if you have a penis, you will find the erection deflating and ballooning throughout the process. It’s meant to be pretty good for premature ejaculation, so if that’s you, give it a go. Stimulate a sensitive area of your penis until near orgasm, stop, and then repeat. 

What are the benefits of edging? 

So why bother going through all this trouble in the first place? Edging can help bring some sparkle to your sex life, whether you’re flying solo or with a partner. Some of the benefits your can experience are: 

1. Better, longer, more intense orgasms.
2. Feeling more confident in your own body 
3. Becoming more aware of your preferences.
4. More pleasurable and intentional partnered sex. Removing the emphasis of penetration can help couples discover other ways to stimulate one-another.